Biznerati 5th Edition

Sunday 2 August 2015

FIRST POST- DATE COGNITIVE DISSONANCE

So I guess I'll tell the whole story. Me and this guy, we'll just call him Christopher, have been talking for about two  months. We started  on 

Flirchi.com

flirchi,traded numbers then we started texting each other a lot.(6 times a day)We decided we should plan a trip to Miami South Beach, so we did and a few days ago was our first time meeting. This is how it went:

So I had a few things to do that morning but they all ended up back firing. So since i couldn't do anything I planed I ended up at our meeting place 30 minutes earlier than expected. So I waited until 11:30 rolled around (the time we were supposed to meet) and nothing. (I had broke my phone 2 days earlier so I couldn't text or call him) 10 minutes went by. Nothing. 20 minutes. Nothing. I almost left but I told myself I would at least wait an hour. About 40 minutes later he shows up. I wasn't too upset about it, he said he woke up late which means it took him longer to get stuff done at his job than he thought. All was forgiven.

We start driving to MSB and the first

thing i notice about him is that he's super quiet. I was the only one keeping the conversation going. Which was annoying. He did say he was bad at making conversation but who's really that bad at it?? When we arrived it got a little better. We would get into long conversations that felt natural and flowed well but when the conversation died, it was dead and gone. I'd try to start a new one but he'd just be very short with his responses and seemed uninterested. He would even sometimes say nothing at all like I would point out some things and he would just sit there quietly. I hated that, is it really that hard to find something to say or respond with. I mean, when you're getting to know someone, you try right? I felt like he wasn't trying that much. I had to ask him the same question four times before he responded and his response was a very annoyed "I don't know." He did end up Googling a bunch of questions to ask me which was fun.
We ended up doing that for the rest of the time. Those conversations flowed naturally and turned out to be pretty hilarious due to some of the questions. So we laughed a lot. We're both very sarcastic so we'd banter back and forth.
But sometimes I felt like he was very inconsiderate. He wouldn't ride some of the rides that I really wanted to ride, no matter what I said. I know most people would do it anyway but he was adamant about it. He was even kind of jerkish about it. I told him something (i forgot what it was) and he just clapped his hands and said "good for you".
But, apart from all the bad things, most things were great. He was funny and fun to talk to (when he would actually talk). Ironically our time there was like a roller coaster. We had awesome highs where everything was amazing, then really low lows where everything sucked. When I think back on our time I almost want to forget all the bad moments and just remember the good one because with just the good ones, everything was perfect.
Unfortunately there were too many signs that pointed to him being uninterested in me. I'm not stupid, so I can tell when someone is interested and when they're not. I think He just went along with it because he had already paid for the ticket so why not enjoy it while you're there, right? I get that he wanted to be nice without sending the wrong message so he kept his distance. He would literally stand across from me. And when I was in line to get some ice cream, he just wondered off. He wondered off after getting off every ride too. He wouldn't even wait for me, I'd have to catch up to him. And he didn't stand by me or anything. If that doesn't scream "I want to be nice to you but I don't want you to think I like you" then I don't know what does. I've never once met a guy that was interested that acted like that. They wouldn't be shy about holding my hand or wrapping their arm around me. But this guy was just off in his own little world. It just sucks that I spent 2 1/2 months really falling for this guy, only to have it backfire.
So after that terrible experience, I figured "I just won't text or call you and you won't text or call me, and we'll leave it at that" Low and behold. He texted me. So now im confused. If I didn't like someone I would just leave it alone and let it die so why would he bother trying to talk to me. And the funny part is, when i tried to let the conversation die, he just kept trying. Which he didn't do before.
So I really want a guys perspective on this. Am I reading the signals wrong or something, I mean, He appeared totally uninterested when we met, or are guys just like that? I'm not the kind of person to read between the lines of someones actions. I take them at face value. If you stand far away from me that means you don't want to be close to me, plain and simple. I don't take that and think "Well maybe he wants to seem like (fill in the blank, i dont know lol)" So am I reading his signals wrong? What does his actions mean?

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